If you find yourself thinking “Wait. Can’t say that. He’ll think I’m weird and fucked up.” Ditch them and find someone who responds with something twice as weird and three times as fucked up.
My parents are both pastors and once I was fucking this one dude who’s dad was the pastor of the rival church and he whispered ‘talk biblical to me’ so i started reciting Psalms 23 and we ended up getting into a competition of who could recite the most bible versus before they cummed
you need less jesus
ok normally I don’t care to reblog stuff like this but
have you ever shipped something so hard that you become irrationally happy and make a sound akin to steam escaping from a kettle every time they so much as stand next to each other
we need to sacrifice somebody so Ellen never dies
This is quickly becoming the Hunger Games for douchebags
THE 1ST ANNUAL DOUCHEBAG GAMES.
Hosted by Ellen